Sláinte

Well Well It has been a long time since my first blog on Ireland. I decided I better pick up the thread before any of you guys start your own blog about Ireland!!! Then my blog would be redundant and stop saving the million lives like it is doing now!! :P I am the queen of self deprecation am I not? How do you do it, you ask...Well I imagine I am someone else!!

Moving on to Ireland, Indians and the Irish share a lot in common. Weird sounding first names, sure...Case in point, Adhamhnan which means Little Adam. You can be assured that Little Adam wouldn't be able to pronounce his name till he is thirty. Or take the Baothghalach, which means foolish pride.....Do I have to say anything more! ;)

But apart from the bonhomie around and the weird names, we also share a distinct..umm... non preference of anything British. Long years of suffering at the latter's hands has made the Irish pretty vehemently opposed to the Queen's Kingdom. So if you want to sit around and joke about the British, you most certainly can. Just dont expect the British to understand the jokes! There we go......

You will also find out that the Irish are skilled farmers and have expansive lands for farming and sheep rearing. While I was out on my weekend drives on the countryside, I regularly wondered if I needed new glasses because the Irish sheep is about the size of the Indian buffalo..Holy Cow!!
Strawberries, rasberries and such fruits are abundant and we have little shacks on the roadside where they sell these along with fresh new potatoes that taste like a drop of heaven. I am sure God never has to worry about the calories though.

But the most amazing similarity I noticed was the utter confusing signage on the roads. Trust me, If you are not a local, you should not be headed towards the sign that says 'restaurant' in a region with steep cliffs.... You might just find youself in the midst of a High tea!! A walk on the wild side promised by a sign that says Forest trail could well land you in the middle of a busy highway. And the only one wild, would be you!



You can see a sign in Ballyvaughan in the County Clare. We went up there to see the Cliffs of Moher (the breathtakingly beautiful sight rising from the Atlantic ocean, photo attached on top). I made Kannan drive past this sign four times and each time, I laughed louder. It is hilarious to even imagine how to begin to read this sign.

Dublin is another example for the funny ways of signposting. In most countries, road signs are used to help motorists get from one place to another. In Dublin, it's not so simple. Signposting here defies logic and the assumption that there are only a few ways you can go wrong! Me thinks Einstein will be pleased to see his theory of relativity put to good use here cause there seems to be no fixed reference to absolutely anywhere. Borrowing from a harried driver, "Dublin is officially bilingual, a fact which is reflected in the road-signs. This allows you to get lost in both Irish and English"

But you gotta hand it to them, they do have a sense of humour and the ability to laugh at themselves. Here is a sign in the bus in Dublin.....


With the river right down in the city center dividing the city into two and road signs put up on the sides od buildings, the only thing you need to know well in Dublin, is to make a U-turn!


As a parting note, What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A. Gaelic breath.

More pics of my visit to the West ....of Ireland!! Will be writing soon about the places you should not miss out on there....I did...But dont make the same mistake...atleast dont tell me after you have!!

Irish I was drunk- Part I

What does it actually mean to travel to a country in a whole different continent? We do not even blink an eyelid when someone announces their foreign itinerary, But a few, ok a lot more hundred years ago, a journey to Ireland would mean packing your sturdy chest (the lugage, u silly!) with headgear to protect you against the Vikings, pots to collect the leprechaun gold, a quick look through the scrolls of "Gaelic is an actual language" and a super quick ability to switch from saying Catholic to Protestant!

But in July 2009, it only took a 11 hour excruciating pain in a cramped Lufthansa flight- Is there no better way to fly- from Bangalore via Frankfurt. The first thing you would notice entering Dublin, is just how inappropriate it is to call the season 'summer'.

Braving through the constant rain, and treat this as an exageration at your own risk, becomes a habit. It is quite likely you would walk one edge of the Stephen's Green in a heavy downpour and the adjacent edge in bright cold sunshine. Me thinks the weather is so unpredictable just to provide for a conversation starter. I could write a novel (Dont worry, Im not reall gonna!) on the an effort spent in discussing the Irish weather.

It is a lovely city and soon you will become accustomed to the 'Howareyeas' and 'Thats Grand, Lad!' Well if you are a woman, you better set them right about that first ;) The people are so friendly. You will have to stop getting scared thinking that you are on the National TV as strangers are waving around and smiling at you. Coming from a country where a hug from someone almost always means you are married to them, these friendly gestures were quite a shock.

The other immediate thing you would notice is just how little time it takes to reach anyplace. I would have never survived school if I were born here. No more having breakfast on the ride to school, last minute mugging sessions before the all important exam and definitely no comforting sound of the horn to wake me up when my stop arrived in the evenings. The tram is probably the fastest way to get anywhere. They even have an entire lane on highways for cyclists! Did I just hear a collective sigh from the Environmentalists all over the subcontinent?

So my first week in the Island was a long spot the differences contest. Crossing the roads, which could provide for my half hour workout session till I realised theres a button that a pedestrian has to press to operate the traffic light! Yea Me!! The fact that you have to fill petrol in the car yourself. The amazing Snickers icecream that you get. The stupid realisation that McDonalds has nothing vegetarian and so on so forth... Mostly done to avoid missing home too much. Which I was not nearly as successful at as I want you all to believe.

In the weeks to come, I would soon learn and come to love the history and beauty of this wonderful country where I would work in a castle amidst rabbits, a peacock and badgers... Whats so different from home you'd ask! :D

I should be calling this "A really lonely planet".. Oh tat reminds me, Maps...If you are headed to Ireland...do carry a bunch of them. Why?Coming soon to a blogspot near you....

Counting down!

Some things in life I will never understand. And I have this weird feeling that its better off that way! Take for example, Probability.... A bag full of balls! (heh!)
6 green and 8 red and 5 blue. What is the probability that you choose a red one? D'uh! If I really want a red ball, Wouldn't I just go and buy that one and not some million different colored balls and then put them in a sack (heh again!) and then set out to find the red ball that I originally wanted! What a waste of time!

Or this one. X and Y are getting married.X has 5 friends and Y has 7.In how many ways can they invite 5 membered groups to their wedding? And all this while, I'm wondering who X and Y are exactly and why have I not gotten an invitation yet!
Did I do something to piss them off or did she read my previous blog about me finding the groom cute!? gosh!

I have the highest regard for Mathematics teachers.The rest of the world runs away from hypothesizing and here they are juggling imaginary colored balls, inviting random people to others' weddings or making people sit around circular tables in complex orders!!

Would you wake up one morning and go "Whats the probability that I get a seat in the bus?" or worse " What is the probability that I get a window seat such that at least another lady is sitting beside me?"
If you did do this, then the probability that you would miss the bus would be one! And you thought I knew nothing! ;)

Nothing reminds me, logic defying axioms... the factorial of zero is one!! All my life I'm told zero means nothing!That those marks I got in, go ahead guess, yesssss math proved beyond an iota of doubt that zero was a bad bad number and all of a sudden people are telling me that by putting an '!' next to zero makes it something! Go ahead exclaim all you want!! I want to put my high school math papers for reval!

There are 100 cards numbered 1 to 100.If three cards are chosen at random (why why why!!) and with replacement (can I replace the question!), what is the probability that the sum of these 3 would be odd?
Didn't anyone tell them gambling is illegal!!!
As if that was not the limit, A family has 3 children, What is the probability that the family has one female child....Call the police! Call the police..female infanticide alarm! Oh Oh! given: Chance of a child being male or a female is the same.... And there I was thinking mathematicians had discovered that probability too! ;)

Mathematics is for those who want to live in a different world and I sincerely hope they find tat world soon :D

Signing off.............In all probability, We shall meet again!!

Go Pink!

I luuuuhv this pink undie campaign against the Mangalore disgrace heaped on by the SRS. Lots of people have already heard about it and the response is phenomenal. I love it because of the way everyone from everywhere got excited about putting these self appointed moral policemen in their r(t)ight place!

I love it because it shows that underestimating the freedom of expression is the most stupid thing any "authority" can do. I love it because taking it lying down now has stirred its head up and is raring to go! I love it because it shows that disgust is a true motivator and when people get repelled by something, there will be voices and in this case frills raised!
I love it because its so 'upfront' and without any excuses or shame whatsoever is making its point. Its allowing us to tell them to put a chaddi in it!

But I love it mostly because for once we are treating something like this with ridicule and mirth. No more screaming about women rights on media or giving each other a false sense of empowerment. This is pure unadulterated ( or am i wrong at that ;)) mockery! And thats why I love it.....This is fantastic. By giving these people no chance to make their issue important, the makers of this campaign deserve the highest reward possible...participation!!

Will it work? I truly truly hope so.But even if it does not, it has definitely colored our imagination and finally we can prove that the guys who tell women what not to do don't have the balls to don our underwear!!

Everyday Creativity!

A few months ago, I attended a movie in office. (Wait!! they show movies in your office...? and yet u complain that they pay too little!?Bad girl Krutika) Ok now that you have gotten that sentiment out of your system, I was tellin you about the movie. The thinkers and shakers (i forgot the moving bit) at work reckoned we were so enthusiastic about sitting through dreary presentations and long winded motivational talks that they were anxious to find new ways to...well.... do the same thing!!

With my belligerent, who-moved-my-cheese indifferent attitude firmly in place, I trudged towards the hall. For everyone watching me, it seemed like I was doing them all a favor just by being there! I was totally prepared for a ppt that any campus recruited fella has been through a countless number of times in the 'training' period. Something to look absorbed in, totally committed to the company values and the mumbo-jumbo they were talking about. Those hours that you could think about the cute guy on 7th floor or count the extraordinary large number of "but of course" your trainer was uttering. I have even seen people jot down the grammatical mistakes of the presenter on a napkin that covered a half eaten sandwich that could be munched when the latter was not looking! (Contact me for more such time wasting techniques!!)

So there we were a bunch of lazy people on a lazy afternoon assembled in a mock movie hall in anticipation of popcorn and cola ( yeeeeaa rright!). But surprise surprise it turned out to be quite a moving film and a lot of it is still engrained in my memory, ergo the blog (D’uh!). Such things really get you thinking don’t they? Weird how things manage to appeal to you inspite of your get-me-outa-here resistance to them! That’s the same with people. I have tried so hard to get myself to hate the entire legion of married guys. Abhishek included! To no avail. You go to a wedding thinking of the number of well-turned out good looking guys you'll get to meet and maybe do a little variation of the word meet too! But no! You have to go fall head over heels for the groom. Talk about timing!

There is also a flip side to this scenario. The countless times you have been told of a ‘really fantastic book to read’ or a ‘truly watchable movie’. You try them out with unfettered enthusiasm and in the end wonder if the person had said ‘a fanatic read’ and if only you had taken blindfolds to the theatre. Not uncommon, and so is your response when asked about your experience. You grin like an idiot and agree to their reviews wishing to god they don’t ask you about the second half which you slept through.

It is a million times more uncomfortable when this is applied to relatives. The gushes of your chachi ki beti ki naani ki behen about the oh so sweet toodles who is bred like a prize dog and given pedigree which is so much superior to the anna saru you feed your family dog! (Please, a good south indian dog and not eating anna saru! chee chee) And all this time toodles is busy scratching your favourite sofa into something Manish Malhotra could barely drape his models with! How does one tell an aunt (or cousin or neice or whatever till I figure out how exactly she is related) that her toodles is just too-much too (err… to) handle and if he continues chewing anymore upholstery, main tumhara khoon choosluungi!

On that choosy note, I choose to say goodbye and that I will be back with all the ironies of the world. After all, of all the choices in the world, the choice to choose which choice is the choosiest!

naah…u don’t need to gimme an award for tat…toodles!! Oh bother!

Oh!! PS PS : The movie at office, has d same name as my blog! ( of all the coincidences! ;) ) check it out on google..fun iteez!